Some Thoughts

I have a weight problem.  That’s obvious, but I think part of me going through this surgery and this lifestyle change is going to be journaling, i.e., blogging.  It’s kind of like free therapy.  Through this journey, I’m going to blog about how I have felt about myself, things I’ve thought about, wondered about, dreamed of, my successes, and my failures.  You can judge me and laugh at me, but don’t feel sorry for me. I’m fine and I’m going to be great, even more great than I ever was before!  I’m pretty great anyway, in case you were wondering. :-)

Some of the thoughts that have gone through my mind are......

I’ve lost weight here and there, but I wonder what it will be like to lose a significant amount of weight to the point where my drawers are falling off and I need to run to Wal-Mart and buy more before going to work.

I wonder what it will be like to walk the neighborhood and feel refreshed instead of feeling like someone kicked the crap out of me.

I wonder what it will feel like to eat a very small meal and feel satisfied and full.

I wonder how it will feel to be able to buy workout clothes and actually using them for working out instead of pajamas.

I wonder what it will be like to not feel so self-conscious and not worried about how people are looking at me and what they are thinking of me.

I can’t wait to fly and not have to pull the seat belt out all the way and squish my gut in.  I remember a specific time I was flying down to see Mike’s mom, I sat on the aisle seat and guy next to me groaned because I sat next to him.  I assume it was because I’m a “big girl” and he felt like he didn’t have any room.  Why else would he do that?  The plane was full so there was no chance in him getting to sit by himself.  I just sat there, hid my face and cried.  I love to fly and don’t want to EVER feel that way again.

There was another time I’m sure someone said something pretty ugly about me.  We were visiting with Mike’s mom, we were out on the rocks enjoying the waves crashing.  There is an outside restaurant and bar right there close to where we were standing and there were some guys at the bar and one of them said something and Mike went over to confront them and I could hear him yelling and then we left.  He would not tell me what the guy said, but I had a pretty good idea....beached whale came to mind.  I didn’t press the subject with Mike, because I don’t think I really wanted to know, but it was definitely a blow to my self-esteem. I have never forgotten it and probably won’t.


These are big things to me and I think about these quite often.  But you know what?  Those are things I’m not going to have to worry about anymore, because from this day forward, I'm going to rejoice in my accomplishments and praise God for everything He has done for me.

My Goals

I’m going to lose weight after this surgery, that’s a given, but I also want to work on it, i.e., exercising.  I promised Mike I would start exercising with him, building myself up because I won’t have a lot of energy to begin with, but he had to promise me he would buy me a really good pair of running shoes.  I’m not going to start running right away, but I surely want to work up to it because it’s something I would like to do.

First and foremost, I want to be healthy.  I’m teetering on the edge right now of going over to the dark side and I’m not ready to go to the dark side because my mind is young, but my body and health, not so much.  I want to be at the bottom of the hill where all of the other healthy people are hanging out, not at the top of hill, falling over the edge and having 3 or 4 different pills to take every day, having to go to this doctor and that doctor because of my health problems.

Since Maggie is old enough to start exercising at the YMCA (minimum age is 12), she is going to start walking the treadmill with me.  I want her to start some healthy habits now while she is young so she can keep those going and not end up like me.  I want my girls to stay healthy and I’m going make sure of that by setting a good example.  It’s not too late.  I am in no way whatsoever saying she is overweight, or anything like that, I just think the family as a whole needs to be healthy and have healthy habits.

This is what I’m shooting for as of right now.....

30 pounds = a really good pair of running shoes with fun colors

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50 pounds = an ovarian cancer tattoo to honor my sweet mother and her fight with ovarian cancer.  This is the tat I want to get (without the wording), on my back in the center right above my shoulder blades.  

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70 pounds = a pink or turquoise beach cruiser bike so I can take the kids to the park and we can ride bikes.

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Football season = being able to go into Team Fever and buy me a normal size Bama shirt to wear when I’m cheering on my Tide, instead of a man’s t-shirt.  I hate regular t-shirts.

www.fansedge.com

One year out from surgery = a pair of boots.  Not just any pair of boots but some really sweet “cowboy” boots.  I’ve been wanting some for a long time, but have never felt confident enough to wear them.  That’s just me, but soon to be the old me.

www.countryoutfitter.com

These are some of the goals I can think of initially.   I’m so excited about going to my pre-op appointment this week and finding out more about what to expect.  I have peace about my decision to have this surgery.  This is my last chance to get this weight off and be healthy for myself and my family!  

Big Changes Ahead For Me!

As I said in my previous post here, I had made the decision to do something about my weight and being a healthier me for myself and my family.  Well, I did all of what was required of me, and finally, it was approved for insurance and I will be having surgery on July 3.  People ask me what about the 4th of July (eating, etc) and I say who cares!  I don't need to eat all of that crap anyway!  My parents will make sure Mike and the girls are fed a yummy 4th of July meal!  I'm so excited to finally begin this journey of being healthy!  It's not going to be easy, but I've got great support in my family and friends.

I am going to start blogging my journey from beginning to who knows when.  I might even be brave enough to put my weight, I'll just have to play that one by ear.  Just keep an eye out for update posts!

So, here's to me and the rest of my healthy life!

Hot Concerts On Cool Nights

Mike and I got free tickets to see Tim McGraw at an outside venue last night and it couldn't have been more perfect, the weather I mean. (wink wink)  Remember, we got free tickets, not good seats, so we stood along the fence along the walkway and we were able to see pretty good.  We had to stand up the whole time, but it was certainly worth it.  

These pictures were taken with my iPhone, so they aren't great. 

It was a good night, but I'm realizing I'm too old to stay out too late. We stayed until 10:30, got home at 11:00, ate a cheeseburger and went to bed at 11:30.  I felt like I had a hangover and the only thing I had to drink was a Coke Zero!  

Next is P!nk in December and I will take a good camera for that one! 

Rock On!  

DIY Glitter Frame Matting

I had some picture frames for Maggie's room and I just thought they were plain and I really didn't want to put an actual picture in them so, of course, I headed over to Pinterest to see what I could find.  I wanted to find something that was user and budget friend.  FINALLY!  I found it on Our Thrifty Ideas and I just knew I could do it!

So, I started off with the matting of the frame, spray adhesive, glossy clear spray paint and glitter.  I didn't want to buy Sugar Coating because I'm too cheap BUT I did find some glitter that would work just fine and the perfect color too!
 

I stripped the matting, sprayed the adhesive in sections, covered with glitter and kind of mashed on it to make it stick, made a huge mess on the back porch, then sprayed the clear coast adhesive once it dried for a few minutes. 

I didn't want to use a picture in the middle.  Maggie's bedding is black and white, so I found a Damask print online that I liked, printed it and stuck it in the middle and there you have it!  I think they turned out really good and they look great in her room!  

Hope you all have a blessed day! 

Almost There!!

Well I have done almost everything I need to do before my bypass surgery plan is submitted to my insurance company. I'm both excited and nervous, but I'm so ready to be a healthier me!

Right now I'm in vacation mode!  Leaving for a cruise at the end of the month and I'm so excited!  I'm excited for the kids a whole lot because this will be their first cruise AND we will be on one of the biggest ships Carnival has!  EXCITED isn't even the word to describe how I feel!

On another note, back in March, Sarah was in the Spring Beauty pageant and she did a great job.  She came in 5th place.  Well, I think she should have won, but whatever.  :-)

Her hair did so good!  I want to give a shout out to Tasha and Melanie's!

She did a wonderful job on Sarah's hair even when she wiggling around!

My little beauty.

One of my favorite pictures of her

She LOVED that she could do this with her dress.

Sarah with our friend Morgan

Our little family

Sarah with Maggie and cousins Ashleigh and Autumn.

Uncle Clay and Clay's girlfriend, Anna

Grandparents....my parents, Lynn and Gayle

Have a blessed day and until next time....

Bye Bye Gallbladder

In preparing for my gastric bypass surgery, I needed to have an endoscopy done so my surgeon could have an look at my gut before he won’t be able to anymore. I also had an ultrasound to see if I had gallstones because I’ve been having unexplained but suspected angry gallbladder attacks and my suspicion was right, so I was scheduled for gallbladder-ectomy (I made that up, obviously). Thank goodness I didn’t have to be at UAB at the crack of dawn and I was able to see the kids before they went off to school. My mother spent the night with us the night before to help us get the kids ready so we could leave the house on time. My mother is awesome by the way. I got there and checked in, went up to the 7th floor and waited for only 15 minutes or so and was called back to get ready. I got my gown on and those things are not just any hospital gown. You can hook up a hose to the gown and either blow cool air or warm air in your gown. How cool is that? Of course, I chose cool air because I was little hot.

So, after poking me 4-5 times in my hands, they finally got an IV started......or so they thought. I’m given some Vicodin in my IV, start talking about floating air biscuits, moved myself over to the operating table, the mask goes on, the lights look funny and I’m out....until......I wake up in recovery, my foot hurts, I’m wondering why, I have the oxygen tubes in my nose, which I hate, my oxygen saturation keeps dropping, I’m getting agitated very quickly, not feeling any pain in my belly, which is good, my foot still hurts, something is connected to it. I look down and there is an IV stuck in my foot. The nurse asks me if I remember waking during surgery and I said no and asked if I did and she said maybe but if you don’t remember, that’s good. She gives me some pain medicine to relax me because I’m getting pissy and that helps. Later I move in the second stage of recovery where they start removing all of my IVs. I find out that the IV in my hand quit working, which is why they asked me if I remember waking up in surgery. I’m not freaked out by this at all, I think it’s a little humorous. I had a approximately 12 sticks where they were trying to find a good vein. They even tried to give me an IV where my shunt tube runs down the side of my neck. It looks like a good vein, but it’s not. I think they quickly figured that out. I’m sure they were freaking out trying to find another place to put that IV.

I CANNOT wait to talk to my surgeon next week! 

I was finally able to get changed and go home and I actually didn’t feel bad, just really tired and ready to get home and have some spaghetti that Mom had made and see my sweet babies. I wanted them to know Mommy was okay! They were real curious and wanted to see the boo boos on my belly right after I got home. I had some dinner, took some pain medication, sent my wonderful Mother on her way home and I rested and eventually went to bed.

I actually slept pretty good with very little pain. I got up on Thursday, helped get the kids ready for school, Mike took Maggie and on his way home, got me some Starbucks and 2 movies, The Help and Flight. I enjoyed my coffee, napped, watched the movies, had left over spaghetti and took a shower. Pretty much a repeat on Friday and starting to back down on the pain meds. On Saturday, although it was FREEZING outside, we ventured out to Costco, then went to Mike’s mom’s house and had dinner with her. On Sunday, no pain meds at all and I did all of the laundry, cleaned up our den, swept sand off the driveway, and had a big ole bowl of mac and cheese for dinner. I probably did a little too much, but I took something before bed and rested pretty good. I went to back to work on Monday feeling pretty good, just a little slow but feeling better every day! 

I go back for a follow up in a couple of weeks and can’t wait to talk to the doctor about what happened with my IV. I’m sure he will not find it as humorous as I have.

Back In Full Swing With Big News!

Okay, so I’m back after a little hiatus. I am back with big news too! Over the fall and holidays I made the decision to have gastric bypass surgery. It was a huge decision to make and it was made with a lot of thought. It’s a lifestyle change and the surgery is just a tool to help me lose the weight I need to lose to be healthy for me, my husband and kids. I’m no spring chicken and my kids are young and I need to stay healthy so I can keep up with them. Right now, I’m fairly healthy, but am on the verge being a weight induced diabetic. I’m 42 and it’s just a matter of time before my health starts to deteriorate because of my weight. One of the benefits of losing weight and being healthy is the part where I actually enjoy shopping and sprucing myself up and actually feeling like I look good. Another benefit is I won’t feel like the fat wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, etc that I feel like right now. Most importantly, though, I want to be healthy and I want to be 100% for my family.


Some of the things I dream of as a skinnier, healthier me....running in the early morning hours before the kids get out of bed and before I have to get ready for work, riding bikes with the kids on nice, sunny days, not being tired all the time, I want to run circles around the kids instead of them running circles around me!

So that’s my big news. I am in the process of getting all of my doctor’s appointments made that are required by insurance and my surgeon’s office. We are going on vacation the end of May and I’m hoping to have everything done by the middle of April so my surgeon’s office can submit it to insurance and I can get approved (God willing) and then I’m shooting for the surgery to be mid-late June.

Hello

Hello!  I will return to blogging soon.  Getting myself organized. 

See ya!